Dying at home
If the one last impassioned wish of your loved one is to die at home, then I wholeheartedly recommend you do everything in your power to make it happen. If the doctor says there is nothing more they can do, then do everything you can to get your loved one home. My 96-year-old Nanna fearlessly acknowledged that there was nothing more they could do for her, and said, ‘take me home where I belong’. Nan’s mantra in her last few days in hospital was, ‘I want to go home’ … forming the word ‘home’ on her lips as if it were the most sacred place in the world. Days were lost in the process of getting her home because the hospital system doesn’t seem to have an effective communication system between the physio, the OT, the palliative care nurse, the social worker, and the doctor… all butting heads at different times and none of them had any idea of what is available in the community to support dying loved ones at home: A palliative care nurse visits every day; a community nurse visits every day; personal care workers are available; 48 hours of palliative care is available to everyone; and the loving presence of family and friends surrounds the loved one.
Luckily, I have first-hand knowledge of what’s available in the community, as well as an ideal set up at home… And Nanna had just been awarded a ‘My Aged Care’ package… So precious time shouldn’t have been lost in getting Nanna out to have the superior loving care she would never have received in hospital.
But, two and a half days were wasted with my Nanna touchingly chanting, ‘I want to go home,’ and she was finally released thanks to my dear friend who works in the hospital, speaking with and then putting me in touch with the right person to discharge Nanna, as soon as I provided the services and support we’d put into place.
When Nanna finally got home and laid in her bed, she exclaimed, ‘This is heaven!’ And over the next nine days, while enveloped in the wings of her loved ones, Nanna surrendered so gracefully, beautifully, courageously and peacefully to the ultimate transition all of us must take… It was an honour to witness and share… Nanna did it perfectly and paved the ideal way all of us could take graduating into the Great Unknown…
‘70% of people want to die at home, only 14% of people achieve it.’ ~ ‘Dying well’. Article: Dying Well
Nanna
Although your presence has left our eyes
Your essence now fills our reflective skies
When we contemplate the beauty of your life
A life you lived so fully in your steady stride
The impact of you being has been so great
96 years of living we celebrate
Although never enough time to share our love
Each moment was a blessing especially when we rose above
The trials and tribulations that come with living
Precious Nanna you were oh so very giving
Nothing was too much with your words, ‘we’ll get there’
Thank you forever for your care
May our energies merge in whatever comes
We’re only a breath away when it’s all said and done
The in-breath and out-breath fuels the living
The final out-breath is the one
When our energies might go swimming
